landlocked and lonely

dear readers,

today, i'm feeling a little landlocked.

i didn't know that feeling even existed on this tiny little island (there's water almost everywhere you look), but here i am. 

my catamaran is now fixed and ready for swells, but i wasn't scheduled to work today. i can't express how much i ache to be back out there in between the wind and the water. there were a couple days last week when i was reluctant to wake up for work. i didn't want to confront my fears concerning myself and my abilities and some of the fragile/high-maintenance people i'm responsible for. there's this element of anxiety that i didn't know before that incident. it even had me questioning whether this is the right thing for me right now... but i think these five days off have allowed me to realize just how rewarding the gig is overall. they've allowed me to miss it. ALL of it--the speeches, the new faces, the sailing and snorkeling, the conversations with people from around the world, the wind and the sun, the serving, and even scrubbing the decks.

and you KNOW you have a rewarding job when you don't mind scrubbing the decks. especially if there were children on board and the pretzels you served them spilled and got soggy...

and to heighten that lonely/landlocked feeling, i don't have a view of the sea from my new house :( when we lived in sapphire and i had a day off, all i had to do was lift my head (not even sit up in my bed!) and i could see palm trees and clear water and st john and the british virgin islands--in a glance!

our new place is on the north side down a hill, surrounded by greenery, so our only view is of iguanas falling out of trees. granted, all i have to do is walk 30 minutes down the road to one of the world's prettiest beaches, so i can't really complain. anyone wanna visit? 

not kidding,

stefanie